Monday, October 29, 2012

Halfway There

Total Eclipse of the Heart has been my anthem
It occurs to me that it's been about three months since my marriage went from implosion to official separation. Which means I'm about halfway to Divorce Day.

There is nothing more frustrating than being stuck in limbo like this. I've made a lot of progress in moving on, though I of course still have lots of lonely going on. I haven't lived by myself in more than seven years, and I've definitely found myself with many more hours to kill. But I digress... I've been moving on, feeling less sad, getting out with friends, making new ones and hobbying it up like a mofo.

But I'm still unable to fully carry on with my life yet. I'm trapped in this place where it feels like I'm expected to cry into my pillow every night, not explore what's next for me. Am I trying to move on too quickly? Perhaps. But when you feel caged like this, I suppose the natural instinct is to try and break out.

So I have three more months before I'm officially allowed to just be and feel like a normal girl again. I don't even know how to possibly make it that long, but I guess all I can do is keep moving forward.