Thursday, January 10, 2013

Neither Friend Nor Foe

Have our bridges burnt down?
A little bit ago First Kiss totally caught me off guard. He got all serious and "I've been meaning to talk to you." You know that's always fun, right?? But to be honest, I thought maybe he wanted to have the let's be exclusive talk. So imagine my surprise when he went:"Sometimes when people break up... they get back together. I don't want to get hurt, you don't want to get hurt... so we should take things slowly."

Of course the first thing that popped into my mind was, "Wait, how would I get hurt?" Of course I didn't say it, he was really just trying to make it less about him and more about both of us.

My second thought was "We are never ever ever getting back together" Thank you Taylor Swift!

Finally my third thought was, "Gosh he probably wouldn't like it if Mr. Ex and I were friends." That was the first time I started to really ponder whether Mr. Ex and I should actually try to become friends one day. I almost always end up friends with my exes. In fact, one of my exes was actually the officiant at my wedding!  But being friends with my ex-husband who left me? Hmmm, that feels a little different.

Now most people don't think there are any reasons to stay friends with Mr. Ex. But one major plus does occur to me: he knows me better than anyone else in the world. If I going through something, I cannot think of anyone better to provide advice and insight.

On the other hand, maybe I need to look forward and bring new people into my life who I can grow close with, like First Kiss.. Maybe Mr. Ex is a safety blanket? Have you stayed friends with an ex and how did it turn out?

Right now, I'm still too hurt and angry to be able to really know what I want and what's best for me. I guess we'll stay in limbo for awhile longer.