Thursday, April 04, 2013

Colonizing The Boyfriend's Place

Make room for me, please!
So I'm in my very first adult, long term relationship... with someone I don't live with. Mr. Ex and I were friends who decided to move in together before we started dating. So for the first time ever I'm a part of a we, yet am still a me when I go home.

So as the months tick by, I begin to wonder: How much stuff should I leave at his place?

I had been using his spare contact case, and left a spare toothbrush and extra pair of glasses in my car for when I spent the night. But I eventually forgot my glasses at his place and decided it was just easier to leave them there. He didn't seem to mind, so I left some make up remover as well. At some point I plan to buy another phone charger for his apartment as well. This is all I've planned to leave at his place for the time being, and I think we both are fine with that. But, being that this is all new and exciting for me, I had to see what other people thought on the matter!!!

Of course I think of the "Sex in the City" Evolution episode where Carrie leaves some of her things at Big's apartment, which he eventually returns to her. Is it an important show of commitment when he lets you leave a few essentials at his place? If he doesn't make room for you in his place, how much do you really matter to him? And what exactly is essential? A toothbrush is probably fine, but a hair dryer?

Some women think you shouldn't leave anything at a guy's home... In fact on one blog I even read: "If you leave numerous things behind it's like saying to him "I have no life outside of here, and it's not important for me to take care of myself when I'm not with you." I found that a bit confusing, as it never even occurred to me to leave anything I need regularly or don't own two of. And would a guy really think that deeply into the matter? He either won't care at all or be worried you're trying to move in. Not, "Gosh, she doesn't even bother to use nice night cream when she's not around me!"

I think after maybe four months it should be ok to "forget" a few things at his place, ahahahah. And I suppose if you're always going from his place straight to work or out, maybe asking for a drawer makes sense. I never spend consecutive days at his apartment as I have two little doglets at home.... gosh, think I could get away with leaving them at his place??