Over the weekend First Kiss and I began the "where is this going" conversation, and I let him know that I expected to be married and had begun having children in the next five years. He, on the other hand, did not see that for himself in that time frame.
I found this to be quite distressing and a little surprising... we're not 26 anymore, people! After some tears I told him I should leave, and he immediately disallowed it. Apparently this was all things we "had to think about" but not act on yet. Um, we want different things in life, but you want to pretend everything is ok?
In the end, I decided to wait until after the 4th of July to try and end things again, simply because I am bringing him to a special event at the White House and I figure he can at least have that cool memory first. And I suppose part of me is hoping he'll mull it over and be open to marriage and babies. But I know that you can't just make that kind of life changing decision in a handful of days only to make someone else happy. It will only breed resentment in the end.
So I guess that, even though I love him, I have to love me more.